The other day, I read Rach’s words to live by post and marvelled at her ability to find inspiration and enthusiasm at every turn. I thought that words to live by was a great idea, but I didn’t really think that it was something I would do. It’s not that I don’t like words – I love writing, I love reading, I devour books like it’s going out of fashion. But to narrow it down to one or a few particular words? And to find words that gave me an oh-my-god kinda feeling? I didn’t think so. Deciding that I would probably be too analytical about this little task, I set the idea aside and moved on.
Except that I didn’t, really. My mind kept coming back to the idea, and words kept jumbling around in my head, bubbling to the surface, offering their possibilities, and then floating away again. And then eventually one stuck. Wouldn’t you know it, I had a word for 2012:
What I mean by this is that in 2012 I want to:
* get inspired
* be at peace
and I want to RADIATE that inspiration and that calmness, through my physical being, my emotional being and my online presence.
I want to LOOK AROUND more – at the world around me, at the wonderful websites and blogs to be discovered online. I want to take more photographs, save more links and get seriously into pininterest. And I want to have a deep appreciation for all this beauty and inspiration while I do it. Importantly, I want to take from all these things what lifts me up and makes me happy. I want to approach it all with positivity. And awe – a little bit of awe is okay. But intimidation is not. I want to look around and see potential, not obstacles, and not feel fear at how far I have to go.
I want to find serious PASSION for my work. I’m coming up to the end of my first year of my PhD. That first year felt like a year of floundering around trying to work out what I wanted to do and whether I had anything useful to say (I’m told this experience is not uncommon). It involves a lot of confusion, a lot of despairing. I’m nearly through that first year now. I’m starting to get a grasp on my research. I have DIRECTION. And I’m moving into the writing phase. Which means it’s time to get EXCITED. Time to throw myself into the parts of my topic that really interest me right now, and try to summon that thrill of the discovery and that love of sentences that I know I have.
I want to GO EASY on myself this year. I want to not be so hard on myself when I make a mistake or do something silly. I want to not obsess when I think that someone doesn’t like me, for whatever reason. That’s life, baby. I want to meditate and get in touch with the me that’s deep down in there somewhere. The me that rejoices at everything, that doesn’t get upset over little things, that loves absolutely. I want to actively practice kindness and mindfulness in everything I do. And I want to give myself TIME to do these things, and to stuff up sometimes, and to rest if need be. I think that this will not only set me free emotionally (so to speak), but will also help me strengthen my relationships with others.
I 2012, I want to RADIATE
[Images: Radiate by bennylin0724, licensed under CC: BY-NC (top); Light in the night (Castelldefels) by Jose Carlos Norte, licensed under CC: BY-NC-SA (bottom)]